Letting the Fog Clear; Put Down the List and Make Space for You

I'm a planner and list-checker-offer. I'm continuously going through my head to sort out and plan my day.  For the most part, this allows me to be organized, efficient, and punctual (or pretty close to it.) But on the other hand, it also means that my mind is like a lake dumping its waters and flooding the land because of too much rain. There is so much information coming into my head, that I've run out of room to put it. 

My yoga practice has helped in turning my torrential downpour into more of a light drizzle but the rain continues. Finding stillness and quiet in my very active mind may very well be one of my greatest struggles. I've always replayed troublesome situations over and over in my head, analyzed and thought about tasks that I wasn't looking forward to, and carried on lengthy, imagined conversations over things that could happen or that already took place. This has only served to keep my mind on overdrive. 

What I've learned this past year through a regular yoga practice, is that when those thoughts cease, even momentarily, I find myself completely present - present to what my children are saying or doing, present to my relationship with my husband, present to myself, and present to the world around me. I see and notice the littlest, most beautiful things. I hear the most amazing sounds, and I see the light of those around me. I really and truly appreciate the moment that I'm in. But then the thoughts return, the rain falls, and fog sets in. Even so, those moments of clarity are what keep me practicing and what keep me truly alive. 

With our never ending to do lists and our culture of busy-ness and multitasking, we must find a way to put something down. To stop the rain and allow our cloudy minds to clear, even briefly.  I was given the idea recently to let one hour a day be completely unplanned, and once that hour arrives, not to fill it with tasks but to simply allow it to unfold. Whatever happens to fill that space is very likely something that you need that perhaps you weren't even aware of. I began this practice yesterday and found myself reading and writing during my kids' nap time. Normally, this time of day is very planned out (chores, prep dinner, squeeze in an at home workout) but that day I cast aside any plans and found that what I needed was some time for peace, quiet, and creativity. The next day my unplanned hour was playing games with my kids.  What will today bring? I have no idea. But I'm excited to find out!

(Not) Being Super Woman

With Halloween just around the corner, I've been trying to decide what I should dress up as. The other day, after running the kids from place to place, grocery shopping, preparing dinner, and getting my early morning workout in, I practically fell into bed and sarcastically declared that I was going as Super Woman because that way I wouldn't need a costume. Only I don't really see myself as Super Woman, just as a woman trying to be inordinately Super. And honestly, I really can't justify this need to do it all, and it takes every ounce of what I've learned from my yoga practice to let go of perfection and accept that I'm enough just the way I am. 

I recently transitioned from nearly full time yoga instructor to stay-at-home mom. This has been a huge shift for me with my biggest challenge being my battle against self doubt and guilt about whether I'm doing enough and whether I'm doing it all well enough. The guilt usually comes in the form of not being able to do it all. I stay home. I don't have to be in the studio most of the day like I used to or in the office all day like most of my friends. So how is it that I don't have a perfectly put together house? Why are mac n' cheese, pizza, and leftovers regulars on my dinner menu rotation? How am I not able to make all the made-from-scratch creative meals I thought I would when I decided to stay home? Why do my floors always look a little gross (the dog has something to do with it) and why does it take me an entire week to get even a few errands run? I've asked myself, "Am I being lazy? Am I being selfish?" After all, a chuck of my time is taken up with my yoga practice, running, and, like right now, sitting down to write. 

What I have to remind myself is that doing things I enjoy and taking care of myself to stay healthy and fit are not selfish. They are, actually, quite selfless. I've used this analogy before and it came to me in an article I read the other day: if you're on an airplane and the oxygen masks drop down, you put yours on first then help others. It makes so much sense. If we can't breathe, how can we take care of anyone else? Women are often considered the nurturers, givers, and caretakers, and so we often give ourselves to others to the point where we have nothing left for ourselves. If we could just let go of something and allow time to nurture our own selves, to let ourselves be enough without guilt or shame, then and only then can we truly help and nurture others.

The question is, can we ever just be enough for ourselves? Women today are told that they can have it all. We are remarkable multi-taskers. We are, it seems, expected to be attentive moms, doting wives, and work full time. We can be the breadwinner and the housewife and still spend time with our friends. We can stay fit and healthy and keep ourselves put together. And I suppose that we can do all of this…if we want to sacrifice sleep (because there really are just not that many hours in the day), and drive ourselves (and everyone around us) completely crazy. The truth is, we can't do it all, and when we do manage to squeeze it all in, much of it is done half heartedly and without presence. I completely believe that its ridiculous and unhealthy to try to convince ourselves otherwise. Presence, not perfection, is the intention.

I've always been a people pleaser. I'd say yes to just about anything in order to help out someone else. And while wanting to help others is a wonderful and admirable quality, I learned pretty quickly that when you say yes to one thing, you're saying no to another. When I started having children, I kept saying yes to everyone and everything outside of my family. Then I'd be resentful of how busy I was and how little time I had with my husband and baby daughter. I sometimes look back and struggle to remember fully my daughter's infancy. I was there for it, but I wasn't present. As my yoga practice progressed, I began to realize this.  When my son was born this past spring, I made the conscious choice to be present for him and for my daughter and husband as well. For me, this meant choosing to stay home. I know plenty of incredible women, nearly all of my friends as a matter fact, who work full time and are attentive, loving mothers and wives at the same time. Its not about choosing one or the other, its about making conscious choices that keep you happy and healthy.  For me , the decision to stay home wasn't an easy one but I know it has been the right one. And while it's not always easy, while the guilt still creeps in and the self doubt ebbs and flows, I'm finally learning that I have nothing to prove to anyone. I'm no Super Woman and I can't do it all. I do need time for me, and that's perfectly ok. When I'm good on the inside, I'm good on the outside. And as Maya Angelou reminds us: "You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody." Take care of you so that you can be your best self for others.

The HIIT Mama

Holy smokes! All you yoga/fitness mamas out there - need a quick, at home, intense calorie burning, make you sweat workout? I just did this workout and it was amazing. I had to modify a few things to fit my needs and accommodate my space (I don't do plyo-push ups for example, nor do I have hanging rings at my house) but I'm exhausted now and I loved it. The best part? I got it done while baby was napping and I didn't have to leave the house.

To begin, I warmed up with some jogging in place, side stepping, jumping jacks and Sun Salutations (about 10 minutes total).

Next, the WORKOUT!

To cool down, I did the following surrender series (hold each for about 30 seconds):

Seated Wide Leg side stretch
Seated Wide Leg Forward Fold
Seated Forward Fold
Baddha Konasanah
Gomukasana
Eka Bhuga Swastikasana I
Bridge
Happy Baby
Savasana (Final resting pose)

Good luck mamas!

An Athlete's Dilemma; The Body Connection

"One would think athletes are connected to their bodies, but it's actually quite the opposite..If they were, they wouldn't put themselves in harm's way." (Keith Mitchell, former NFL linebacker for the Jacksonville Jaguars)

Keith Mitchell, former NFL linebacker for the Jacksonville Jaguars, sustained a spinal cord injury and found himself paralyzed after a devastating tackle in 2003. Yoga, which was introduced to him in the hospital, now has him not only walking but practicing and teaching yoga as well. An article about his experience was passed along to me today and is such an amazing reminder of how important it is for all people, and especially athletes, who tend to put their bodies through the ringer, to learn to tune in to, respond to, and honor what their bodies need to keep them strong, healthy, and most importantly, safe. 

When I was running at least 30+ miles a week and training for marathons, I really thought I was connected to, in tune with, and had compassion for my body. The truth, I've come to realize, was that I was quite the opposite for the very reason Mitchell states above - I put my body in harm's way over and over again. I ran when my body was tired and begged for rest. I ran through pain and illness.  I ran through just about everything until I started practicing yoga on a regular basis. Suddenly my body began to feel different. It felt better, it was happier, it even looked and felt stronger. For the first time, I could actually hear and respond to what my body needed each day. Now I know that some days it needs rest, other days a nice long run is what its craving. But yoga has been the key to opening up my eyes and ears to what is important for me and for my body each day.  

Running is great exercise, there's no arguing that. But if we're not careful, it can have the opposite effect, causing excess stress to our skeletal and muscular system and increasing our risk for injury. We're often led to believe that more is better - run faster, run longer, run harder. But when we do this without listening to our bodies when they beg for rest, when we ignore the pain and push through, we are abusing our body. The body is something to be cherished, not abused. It is the vessel that carries us through life, creates and sustains new life, and harbors our soul. Yoga can help us to find balance within ourselves so that we can also find balance in what we demand from our physical selves. 

Day 262 of #MyYearOfYoga

"Laughter is such a healthy exercise. Somebody is laughing -- that's perfectly good exercise, join him. Somebody is being playful -- if you have time, join him." ~Osho

Yesterday I had a chakra reading done and based on the results I put together a short yoga sequence to rebalance my out-of-balance chakras. As I began my practice, I anticipated and very serious and meditative practice. About halfway through, though, the baby started fussing and eventually ended my practice early. Before going to attend to him, I was laying on my mat feeling frustrated when this thought passed through my mind: "Its ok, you're exactly where you need to be." It can be so hard to remember, but in each moment of our lives we truly are exactly where we are meant to be. It may not be the place or situation that you had planned for yourself, but because you are experiencing it, it is right. Realizing this makes life remarkably easier because it teaches us to let down our guard, to stop resisting, fighting, and trying to get away from our life as it is. Our plan is nothing more than that - OUR plan. But because everything in the Universe is connected - you, me, nature, the animals, the sounds, feelings, and energies that encompass what it means to exist - because of this, our plan must be let go as needed for the connectivity of the bigger picture, our Universal alignment. In the end, my practice turned silly and playful. Baby and I finished my practice together laughing and giggling. They say laughter is the best medicine, so perhaps the sound of my baby giggling helped bring some balance back into my heart chakra, my own laughter balance my throat chakra, and listening to that voice telling me it was ok, was my third eye chakra working out its imbalance.

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Yoga for Runners Pose for the Day...Figure 4

As a runner, there are several reasons why I love this pose. To begin, its a balance pose so it requires concentration, breath awareness, and strength. Its challenging, yet calming, teaching us to quiet our mind, be still, and breathe when we just want to come out of the pose. Not only does Figure 4 offer these mental benefits, but it also opens the hip and knee and strengthens the standing leg and ankle.

Begin in Mountain pose.

Inhale, raise your arms overhead.

Exhale, bend both knees and sit your hips down into chair pose. Keep your weight in your heels and your core strong. You should be able to see your toes in front of your knees.

Bring your right leg up and place your right ankle above your left knee on your thigh.

Bring hands to heart center. You can stay here or sink down further, bringing your arms to rest on your right leg and deepening the stretch in your right hip.

Hold and breathe 8-10 breaths.

Repeat on other side.

Day 255 of My Year of Yoga

"I still love today" said my 4 year old when I commented on the overcast sky. I know I write about my kids a lot and especially my daughter (since she's been around longer than my 4 month old son) but that little girl is simply my greatest inspiration. I never realized, until I began the practice of living my yoga, the positive, uplifting, and wise words and actions thatso often come from her. Children can truly be our greatest teachers. Their light has not yet dimmed, the veil of experience has not been pulled over their eyes, their genuine intuition and connection to their spirit has not been tarnished. My greatest wish would be for the children of this world to remain forever in that state and for the rest of us to return to it. Namaste.

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