My Yogi Lifestyle: The Search for the Authentic Self

Yoga can bring a lot of clarity to our lives; showing us what is truly important, offering us a new perspective, teaching us acceptance and respect towards ourselves and those around us. Yoga encourages us to get in touch with our authentic selves and to live in a way that expresses our best possible self.  And while I stand by all of these things, I do find one part a bit confusing. Or maybe not confusing, but more challenging to put into every day practice and worth addressing. How does one live their authentic self?
It raises the question, "Who am I?" When we try to answer this question, we tend to place labels on ourselves: writer, parent, athlete, nurse, stay-at-home mom or dad, etc. But these labels are no more than an activity that we do. We can be many of these things at once and we can become an entirely new thing at any given time. Our authentic self has nothing to do with the labels we attach to ourselves, although what we do from day to day does help to shape our beliefs, behaviors, energy levels, and so forth, and so they do, in some respects, shape who we are. But what we do on the outside can never define who we are on the inside.
Throughout our life we go through different stages, making transitions from one exterior self to another. For the past 15 years or so I've given myself the label of "runner." I ran marathons, half marathons, and put in 30-40 miles a week. When I was expecting my second baby, life changed and I barely ran for almost two years. I focused intensely on my yoga practice and considered myself a yogi, setting aside the runner label. One week ago today I told a friend that I wanted to start running more again, but maybe just 3 or 4 miles. "I'm not interested in training for another half marathon or trying to put in 5 miles with the jogging stroller!" I had said. Today I ran 5 miles with the jogging stroller and over the weekend I put "run half marathon" on my calendar for Labor Day weekend. So life changes, our energy shifts, we float back and forth between one exterior self and another, now and then adding a new self to the mix. But even with all of these shifts and changes, we don't become a fundamentally different person, we are just one (or two or three) version of ourselves in that particular moment. Today I might call myself a runner, a yogi, a stay-at-home mom, and a teacher, but deep down, I'm the same on the inside, at the very center of my heart, as I have always been. And there is no label for that.

My Yogi Lifestyle_The Unrelenting Urgency

For the past several weeks I've made it my intention to separate myself from my Smartphone as much as possible. I've cheated a few times but for the most part, I've found that this separation has brought me a great deal of peace and presence and has reduced my anxiety and sense of urgency. We live in a world where we are expected to be doing a hundred different things at once. We are expected to be accessible at all times. We are pulled in so many different directions that we are constantly stretching ourselves thin until we snap - harming ourselves either mentally and emotionally, spiritually, or physically, or all of the above. We are not meant to live this way.

There's a sense of freedom that comes with slowing down and letting go of the urgency. We can only be in one place at one time and we can only truly be doing one thing at one time. Our mind tries to pull us in different directions at all times of the day, but if we could just take a moment to clear away those thoughts, to pause and breathe, we would realize that where we are is the most important place we can be. It's the most important place because it is exactly where we are. When we are fully present to where we are and what we are doing, the urgency falls away. I've found that when this happens, life has a tendency to very naturally fall right into place.  Its almost as though life works itself out the moment we stop pushing and demanding that it happen "our way." When we free ourselves from our controlling nature, we free life's energetic flow as well. 

There's no sense in rushing from one thing to the next, simply because life will unfold in the manner and at the pace at which it was intended. Free yourself from the perceived need to be doing 10 things at one time and from the urgency of getting on to the next thing. Have patience with this moment. Feel it, embrace it, absorb every last ounce of the moment into your life, because before you know it, that moment will be gone. Life is not made up of major events, it is made up of every tiny little moments built one on top of another.

My Yogi Lifestyle (Day 359)

‪#‎myyogilifestyle‬ is a continuation of ‪#‎myyearofyoga‬, picking up where I left off when the year came to an end. One of my intentions for the new year is to be mindful of where I channel my energy and I've come to realize that means spending less time in front of my telephone or computer screen and more time focusing on the Real that's right in front of me. I also, however, feel that my energy is well spent in sharing what I learn and how I live my yoga, and so, these posts will continue indefinitely but not daily. Here is what inspired me today...

My intention for today is to practice Santosha, or contentment. As humans, we seem to always be looking for the next thing, striving for more, and believing that what we have right now just isn't enough. As soon as we get what we want, we want something more. We push ourselves to hard, we are impatient with ourselves and our lives, and we end up breaking ourselves down, becoming less productive, less happy, and less at peace with the way things are. There is, no doubt, a great deal of good that comes from looking forward, setting goals, and working hard to achieve our dreams. The disconnect, though, is when we become disillusioned by this imagined future self or this imagined future life. We disconnect completely with the present and when we are not living in the present, we are not really living at all. We must continue to work toward our goals and intentions while at the same time, letting go of our attachment to some expected outcome. We must be content with and find peace with where we are now and with each step that we take along our journey. Each step is as significant, if not more so, than any final outcome. "Allow yourself to savor the sweetness of Santosha, and you'll find yourself deeply satisfied with much of what life has to offer." ~Constance L. Habash

Day 242 of My Year of Yoga

Day 242 of #myyearofyoga :
Why do we try so hard to be perfect? For whom are we trying to be perfect? Our friends? Our family members? Strangers? It occurred to me this morning that no one really wants you to be perfect. In fact, it's often someone else's apparent perfection that makes us feel imperfect. But when we have the chance to see others in their natural state, it's comforting. Brene Brown, in her book, Daring Greatly, describes perfectionism as "a defensive move. It's the belief that if we can do things perfectly and look perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame." And truthfully, the one who is bestowing the most judgment upon us is ourself. As a friend of mine said when I showed up to her 5:15 a.m boot camp class one morning with food stuck in my teeth and dried drool on my check (I mean, really?), she hugged me and said "this makes me feel so human." And that's exactly what we all are, human. We're not perfect nor should we try to be. We should simply do our best, act with good intention, and be our best self - whatever that may be.

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