Sell the Goat

In my yoga classes, I’ve told the following story which I came across while studying the yoga sutras:

"A man lived with his wife, mother-in-law, six children, some chickens, a horse, and a cow.  They were all driving him completely crazy.  So he went to the village rabbi to ask for help.  The rabbi said, 'Yes, I can help you.  Buy yourself a goat.'  Overjoyed, the man went out and bought a goat.  Now he lived with his wife, mother-in-law, six children, some chickens, a horse, a cow, and a goat.  His home was even more crazy than before!  So the man went back to the rabbi to tell him about the situation.  'I can help you,' said the  rabbi. 'Sell the goat.' So the man went out and sold the goat.  Now all he had was his wife, mother-in-law, six children, some chickens, a horse, and a cow.  It was quite peaceful without the goat."

Simply changing our perspective on a situation can make such a difference.  When things aren’t going well it feels like the weight of the world is on our shoulders.  If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Nothing is going my way,”  “Everyone is against me,” “No one cares,” then you’re not alone. When you are stewing in your anger or pouting over the way an interaction went with a loved one, try reminding yourself that you are making a choice to be in this state.  No matter how badly you want to put the blame on someone else, you alone have the power to change your perception of the situation.  Sell the goat. 

Let me give you an example.  I am a world-class pouter.  I can give the cold shoulder and the silent treatment like you wouldn’t believe.  Unless you’re my husband…then you’d believe it.  Often times I will lament to him about some situation or another that has arisen with which I’m dealing.  What I’m looking for is someone to simply listen and sympathize.  What he offers is advice.  I become upset and offended that he is not being supportive, and a draining couple of hours persist (yes, hours) where I barely say two words or crack even a hint of a smile.  Here’s where a fresh perspective comes in to play.  There’s always another side to the story, after all.   You remember the Golden Rule, right?  Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.  A great rule of thumb.  But I’ve heard about a new rule that I think is important for everyone to consider.  This is the “Platinum Rule:” Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.  In other words, treat others how they want to be treated.  When my husband has a situation to deal with, he wants advice and solutions.  Because this is what he wants, it makes sense for him to offer those to me.  He’s following the Golden Rule, but it’s backfiring.  I’ve heard so many women tell a similar version of this story and I’m sure just as many men have said the same from their perspective.  Instead of becoming frustrated or angry, what if we could just change our perception and see that this person’s intentions are good.  It’s not easy.  Our minds love to hold on to these negative interactions and manifest them into problems.  But like I’ve said before, there are no problems. So how can this be a problem?   Change your perception. Sell the goat.