Our Truth

We are, without a doubt, spiritual beings.  Yet we connect ourselves with being human.  As humans, we worry over what people think about us, what they say about us, how we are perceived.  Instead of wasting our energy on fear - worry, anxiety, sadness, are all manifestations of fear, after all - why not focus our energy on what lays beneath the surface; our true, inner selves.  Eckhart Tolle describes us each as a lake. On the surface, there may be sunshine and warmth, but there is also wind, rain, thunder and lightening.  When the weather turns, the surface of the lake becomes choppy and turbulent.  Yet beneath the surface, deep within the lake, the water is still, calm, at peace.  This place of peace and solitude is where your true self lies.  When we can quiet our mind and body we can experience our inner self.  As I've read and studied Eckhart’s teachings, I've discovered that I’ve already known and experienced the inner self he describes.  But until now, I never realized what it was - the light within, the Divine, the inner spirit.  Call it what you like, but what I know is that it is Me.  And it is You.  

The few times that I've been completely aware of my inner self, I was only a child. The most vivid of these occasions was when I was probably 7 or 8 years old.  I was in the backseat of my mom’s car, driving up the road to our house.  As I was staring out the window, I became intensely aware of what it felt like to be alive. I could feel every part of my body, inside and out, from my toes, to my fingers, to the top of my head.  It felt like something inside wanted to burst forth. It was like my body was a shell and there was some sort of intense energy radiating within and trying to break free. It felt like a wave sometimes.  After several seconds, probably not even a full minute, it became overwhelming and I’d have to shake myself out of it to come back to “normal.”  At the time of course, I had no language to explain what was happening.  Tolle describes it as a “subtle energy field that pervades the entire body and gives vibrant life to every organ and every cell….it will feel as if every cell is becoming more alive.”  

Knowing that our inner Self is there is wonderfully comforting knowledge.  Until recently, I’d lost that feeling since childhood, but with practice, I’ve begun to find it again.   Meditation has been the key player in this connection.  The idea of seated meditation has always been daunting to me. My meditation has always happened while I’m running.  The bodily sensations take over. I hear the sound of my breath, I feel the fall of my feet and the strength in my legs as they push off the ground. The first time I tried seated meditation on my own I didn’t even make it two minutes. After a few guided practices, though, I began to feel a sense of calm take over.  Awareness and acceptance of stillness uncovers the inner Self.  It releases worry, anxiety, fear. 

In their search for peace, calmness of mind, freedom from pain and suffering, Tolle talks of people approaching him asking him to give them what he has – spiritual enlightenment, stillness. His response is “You have it already. You just can’t feel it because your mind is making too much noise.” We are bound to pain and suffering by our own minds.  Yet yoga teaches us that there is a way out of it.  Through stillness.  But most of us are plagued by the endless chatter and ongoing dialog of our minds. 

In my yoga classes I sometimes have my students practice feeling this inner Self.  This exercise was shared with me and I pass it along whenever I can.  To do this, lie on your back and close your eyes.  Rest one hand on your belly and the other over your heart.  Begin to notice your breath.  Notice the rise and fall of your belly and your chest.  Don’t judge or change it, just notice.  Next begin to bring your full awareness to one part of your body.  Maybe it’s your hands.  Become completely aware of what your hands feel like, feeling them from within.  Notice if you feel a slight energy, a low vibration.  Don’t think about it, just notice.  Allow that energy to begin to make its way up your arms, then down through your abdomen and into your feet and toes.  Let the energy make its way to the top of your head.  Continue to feel the energy, allowing it to become stronger.  Let every cell in your body vibrate with this energy.  This is what its like to be alive. As you slowly open your eyes, try to stay connected to your life energy.  That life energy is our spirit.  I say ours because it is mine and it is yours.  We are connected through our spirit.  We cannot hate one another because that would be to hate ourselves. Love yourself and love all those around you.  Find peace in this.