My Yogi Lifestyle: Manifesting Your Dreams

After kids yoga the other day, my daughter Maggie asked to throw a penny in the fountain so she could make a wish. Her wish was that she could listen to her mom and dad every single day (Wait, what?? Who is this kid?!) She asked me when her wish would come true and I told her that she already had the power to make her wish come true. We all do, for that matter. The greatest obstacle we face in pursuing our dreams is our own self - our own doubts, fears, and reservations are what really get in the way. The trick, of course, is finding the balance between going after what we dream of and at the same time stepping back to allow things to fall into place. Sometimes, in our efforts to achieve something, we try force the circumstances. But the timing might not be right or we may not fully be ready in mind or spirit, though we usually don't recognize this. The same is true when we do our asana practice. We may be working towards an advanced pose or working to build strength and flexibility and we can do this by believing that we can, but we must also respect our limits.

When I did my yoga teacher training a few years ago, I became very familiar with the term "manifestation." I have to admit that at first, I didn't entirely buy into it. How can we make what we want happen just by deciding that it will happen? Eventually, I came to realize that there is more to it than that. We don't just sit around thinking and saying that our wildest dreams will come true, we actually do have to get up and take steps to make them happen. But then what about all this "accept the way things are," "go with the flow," "be content with what is" stuff?  The truth is, again, its both. Its a delicate balance between taking steps to make our dreams come true and being able to accept the way things actually unfold. We manifest our dreams by shifting our energy from "this could never happen" to "I'm going to work to make this happen." We transform our energy from negative feelings of doubt or fear to positive feelings. 

Our yoga practice helps us to release some of the stagnant energy that we hold onto, that energy that harbors negative emotions and feelings. When we move through the postures in yoga, we open up our bodies to allow energy to move and flow, bringing in the good and releasing the negative. We do our part, but we also realize that we must practice patience as events unfold in the way in which the Universe, not our own mind, intends.

My Yogi Lifestyle: Daily Yoga

A daily yoga practice is about how we are living life every day, moment to moment. On the mat, the yoga postures move our bodies in ways that open up energy channels and move us in ways that allow things like gratitude, presence, mindfulness, love, and clarity to bubble up from our core to the surface of our being. Yoga teaches us perspective. Life happens, and not always in the way that we want it to happen. But what yoga shows us is that by tuning in to what is happening right now, we can find peace in the way things are. Instead of being anxious or worried about the future or the past, we appreciate the beautiful subtlety of right now. We can take it all in, or we can let it all slip away.

My Yogi Lifestyle: The Search for the Authentic Self

Yoga can bring a lot of clarity to our lives; showing us what is truly important, offering us a new perspective, teaching us acceptance and respect towards ourselves and those around us. Yoga encourages us to get in touch with our authentic selves and to live in a way that expresses our best possible self.  And while I stand by all of these things, I do find one part a bit confusing. Or maybe not confusing, but more challenging to put into every day practice and worth addressing. How does one live their authentic self?
It raises the question, "Who am I?" When we try to answer this question, we tend to place labels on ourselves: writer, parent, athlete, nurse, stay-at-home mom or dad, etc. But these labels are no more than an activity that we do. We can be many of these things at once and we can become an entirely new thing at any given time. Our authentic self has nothing to do with the labels we attach to ourselves, although what we do from day to day does help to shape our beliefs, behaviors, energy levels, and so forth, and so they do, in some respects, shape who we are. But what we do on the outside can never define who we are on the inside.
Throughout our life we go through different stages, making transitions from one exterior self to another. For the past 15 years or so I've given myself the label of "runner." I ran marathons, half marathons, and put in 30-40 miles a week. When I was expecting my second baby, life changed and I barely ran for almost two years. I focused intensely on my yoga practice and considered myself a yogi, setting aside the runner label. One week ago today I told a friend that I wanted to start running more again, but maybe just 3 or 4 miles. "I'm not interested in training for another half marathon or trying to put in 5 miles with the jogging stroller!" I had said. Today I ran 5 miles with the jogging stroller and over the weekend I put "run half marathon" on my calendar for Labor Day weekend. So life changes, our energy shifts, we float back and forth between one exterior self and another, now and then adding a new self to the mix. But even with all of these shifts and changes, we don't become a fundamentally different person, we are just one (or two or three) version of ourselves in that particular moment. Today I might call myself a runner, a yogi, a stay-at-home mom, and a teacher, but deep down, I'm the same on the inside, at the very center of my heart, as I have always been. And there is no label for that.

My Yogi Lifestyle: The Power of OM

At the end of the yoga class I taught this weekend, I led everyone in one Om. The sound of Om always gives me goosebumps (in the good way!). It is said to be the sound of the Universe. But it is so much more than a sound. Its a feeling; a powerful vibration of all our shared energy. When chanted together in a group, our energies become one. At the end of practice this weekend, it felt as if the entire room shifted - rising and falling with the sound. Its evidence of how our energy, our souls, are connected. We are separated only by our physical bodies. Our very consciousness is part of the entire Universe. Skin and bone may shape what we look like on the outside but it is our energy and our spirit that defines who we are.

I try everyday to teach this to my daughter, to my students, and to remind myself to live by this. Its this understanding that gives me joy, faith, and peace. Its what reminds me that having faith is realizing that there is something more powerful, something bigger, and something greater beyond this life experience.

My Yogi Lifestyle: Shedding Our Skin

I was at the river museum not to long ago with my daughter and we saw a snake that had shed its skin. My daughter asked why it did that, and I explained that snakes shed their skin so that they can grow. She asked if people can do the same, and I said no, our skin grows with us. 

This conversation got me thinking about how we as humans change, grow, and evolve. The snake shedding its skin is very symbolic to me in that humans too must learn how to shed or let go of the past so that we can grow and transition through life. 

Just as everything in nature is constantly changing and evolving we must do the same so that we can move fluidly with life, dissolving our expectations of how things "should" be and moving with the unexpected transitions that inevitably occur in life. 

Just as our skin stretches and grows as we do, so too must our spirit have the freedom to do the same. In order to emerge from this life in our most true and pure form, we must allow for change and welcome it with open arms.

My Yogi Lifestyle: Faith in Things Unseen

Have faith. Whether or not you consider yourself religious or spiritual, faith is something that exists within each and everyone one of us, though we might not always be able to access it. Faith, I read recently, is "the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." (Hebrews 11:1) Why do we so often think that we need to see to believe? Can we ever learn to rest in the knowledge that sight only goes so far?  That there is something bigger, grander, and more powerful than our human mind and physical senses? Can we continue to set intentions and work towards goals while also being open to letting go of our plan, realizing that it might not be the best one? 

Consider a time when something happened that didn't go the way you anticipated. Maybe you didn't get the job you thought you wanted, or a relationship ended badly, or you had to move across the country for a new job. We tend to plan out our lives, deciding what we see for ourselves and determining in our heads how our lives will look. But in the end, its not really for us to decide. This is where the following explanation of faith, written by Matt Emerson in the Wall Street Journal recently, resonates strongly - faith is "nurtured by patient trust, open to revision." We want things to happen in a certain way and we want them to happen in the time we've determined for them. But again, its not really for us to decide. Not only must we be patient, trusting that all is unfolding with purpose, we must also be open to revision, open to change, open to a different perspective. Things may not always look the we'd like them to but that doesn't mean they are wrong. Whether we can see it or not, each moment of our existence happens just as it should. We must learn to trust and have faith in this understanding and let go of our egoic mind that thinks it knows best. 

We might not always be able to see the good or the light at the end of the tunnel, but we must have faith that its there. Good things come to us in ways unexpected and life evolves and unfolds in ways that we often don't understand. But when all things seem to be falling apart, remember, all things will come together. They will come together exactly as they should, exactly as you need them to, whether you ever fully understand why or how. Eckhart Tolle holds one of my favorite quotes, which I've used many times but use over and over because it is so relevant to all of us at so many points in our lives: “Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”

My Yogi Lifestyle_The Unrelenting Urgency

For the past several weeks I've made it my intention to separate myself from my Smartphone as much as possible. I've cheated a few times but for the most part, I've found that this separation has brought me a great deal of peace and presence and has reduced my anxiety and sense of urgency. We live in a world where we are expected to be doing a hundred different things at once. We are expected to be accessible at all times. We are pulled in so many different directions that we are constantly stretching ourselves thin until we snap - harming ourselves either mentally and emotionally, spiritually, or physically, or all of the above. We are not meant to live this way.

There's a sense of freedom that comes with slowing down and letting go of the urgency. We can only be in one place at one time and we can only truly be doing one thing at one time. Our mind tries to pull us in different directions at all times of the day, but if we could just take a moment to clear away those thoughts, to pause and breathe, we would realize that where we are is the most important place we can be. It's the most important place because it is exactly where we are. When we are fully present to where we are and what we are doing, the urgency falls away. I've found that when this happens, life has a tendency to very naturally fall right into place.  Its almost as though life works itself out the moment we stop pushing and demanding that it happen "our way." When we free ourselves from our controlling nature, we free life's energetic flow as well. 

There's no sense in rushing from one thing to the next, simply because life will unfold in the manner and at the pace at which it was intended. Free yourself from the perceived need to be doing 10 things at one time and from the urgency of getting on to the next thing. Have patience with this moment. Feel it, embrace it, absorb every last ounce of the moment into your life, because before you know it, that moment will be gone. Life is not made up of major events, it is made up of every tiny little moments built one on top of another.

The Breakup

I'm in an unhealthy relationship and I've decided to get out of it. I'm breaking up with my Smartphone.

We haven't been getting along well lately. I'm finding that its very clingy. It insists on being carried around everywhere - the car, the bed, the kitchen table, the playroom, the movies, the restaurants, even the bathroom for crying out loud. I've started to notice that my 8 month old son really hates it too. If he can't throw it or chew on it then he's constantly swatting it away if I'm holding the phone and playing with or feeding him. It, along with most other screens at my house, is turning my daughter into a zombie. Not the brain-eating gross-looking kind but the I-can't-be-bothered-with-anything-you're-saying-right-now kind.

My Smartphone is very demanding of my attention. When I put it down and step away, it sits there, staring at me. I can almost hear it saying, "Just take a quick look at Facebook. I bet someone liked your post...Don't you want to see if you have a new email...OMG! 10 people just liked your Instagram photo...I bet you want to check the weather, I have an app for that..." And on and on and on. And then it just has to buzz and blink and light up whenever anyone anywhere makes contact with me in some way, shape, or form. And if I don't acknowledge its notification quickly enough, it buzzes, blinks, and lights up again.

To be fair, it does have some redeeming qualities. I love the camera, Google Maps, and Clock. All useful tools condensed into one device. And while I'm very grateful for the ease it provided this past year during my project, My Year of Yoga, one thing my daily yoga practice has brought to my awareness is the absolute necessity of being present. Its taken over a year for me to truly and honestly realize what it means, what it feels like, and how my life is different when I am really, honestly, present. And I cannot be fully, honestly present as long as my Smartphone dictates as much of my life as I'm ashamed to admit that it currently does. Its distracting nature has affected my relationships, my patience, my stress levels, and my overall quality of life. So we're breaking up.

My intention, moving forward, is to practice and live in the present moment. To actively listen to what the people right in front of me are saying. To be fully engaged with the actual, tangible things in life and with the people around me, rather than with what and who is behind the screen. I intend to stay present to what is happening right now instead of scrambling to get a photo so I can post it on all my social media accounts. A memory is not really a memory when its only lived through a screen.

To make this all possible, my Smartphone is now just a Phone with special talents. It has a camera, a clock, a map, and text messaging. All my other apps are gone. I have to check email from an actual computer which means I won't be checking my email during every possible moment of downtime. I won't be checking anything for that matter, while I'm waiting around for an appointment, riding the elevator, or standing in line. I might be the weirdo just standing there, staring into space. But really, how is that any weirder than the two people I saw this weekend sitting across from one another at a restaurant both tapping away on their Smartphones and checking their Facebook pages? You won't see me on my social media sites much, with the exception of my blog posts, my periodic My Yogi Lifestyle posts (the continuation of My Year of Yoga), and the occasional special post I deem worthy of taking the time to share. My phone sits in the kitchen in a designated spot (like those crazy land line phones from the olden days), and when I walk by it, I'll see if I've missed a call or a message.  I'm not accessible 24/7 so if you need me, just call or text and if I miss you, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

One Lucky Mama

Today I decided to set myself free. 

It occurred to me, rather suddenly, that I've been making myself anxious and putting all sorts of unnecessary stress on myself ever since I became a stay-at-home mom. With good intention, I turned it into a job. And it is a job, but by its very unique nature, it isn't your typical job. I didn't make this distinction at first though. For the last 8 months, since my son was born, I've insisted that I need to be constantly doing things. There is always house work to be done, errands to run, meals to cook, and drawers to organize after all, right? I worked unrelentingly at these tasks and, for whatever reason, made sure not to get too much enjoyment from the outings and activities I planned with my kids. Even an afternoon at the pool or a trip to the park or museum had to be viewed as part of the "job" instead of what it was: fun. Playtime was part of Worktime so it couldn't really be quite as fun.  I hardly even allowed myself time to read the newspaper or flip through a magazine, or God forbid, sit down and read a book. 

So today, while driving through the nature preserve near our house to lull my sick baby to sleep, I decided to change my perspective. Instead of viewing it as an inconvenience keeping me from sweeping the kitchen floor, it was a fun little drive with my daughter. We sipped our latte/hot chocolate, listened to classical music (very calming for my mom-brain), and talked about the trees, the frozen rivers we passed by, and what the animals were doing to keep warm. 

What was shown to me today is that I've given myself more work than I really need to do. I've made myself believe that no matter how much I do in a day, it will never be enough. But the truth is, all that I do is enough. I am enough. I've put undue stress on myself in order to prove to others (and probably to prove to myself how hard I work) how challenging it is to be a stay-at-home mom. I don't need to prove that to anyone, nor does any other stay-at-home parent. Its a hard job, no doubt. As a stay-at-home parent, we are on-call 24/7. We are responsible for the safety and well-being of the most important people in our lives. Even my daughter said to me earlier this week, "Mom, being a mom is super important! You have to keep your kids alive!" So today I let go of this insistence on making myself unhappy just so I can hold my stress up for all to see while rattling off all the things I have to do in a day. 

I'm very lucky to be where am, doing what I'm doing. That's all there is to it. I'm lucky and I'm grateful. I can still share that which I am passionate about with others through my teaching some yoga on the side, and I can also be a stay-at-home mom who has the flexibility in her schedule to sit down and enjoy herself. I'm not lazy or unmotivated because I stay home and I get to do things like watch Frozen and drink hot chocolate in the middle of the afternoon, lounge around the pool in the summer, or snuggle on the bed and read books and color pictures. I'm just lucky. And that's nothing to feel guilty about. I've awoken today to this amazing life that has been handed to me and today I am beyond grateful for and I invite all the fun, pleasure, and joy that can fill my day. 

My Yogi Lifestyle (Day 359)

‪#‎myyogilifestyle‬ is a continuation of ‪#‎myyearofyoga‬, picking up where I left off when the year came to an end. One of my intentions for the new year is to be mindful of where I channel my energy and I've come to realize that means spending less time in front of my telephone or computer screen and more time focusing on the Real that's right in front of me. I also, however, feel that my energy is well spent in sharing what I learn and how I live my yoga, and so, these posts will continue indefinitely but not daily. Here is what inspired me today...

My intention for today is to practice Santosha, or contentment. As humans, we seem to always be looking for the next thing, striving for more, and believing that what we have right now just isn't enough. As soon as we get what we want, we want something more. We push ourselves to hard, we are impatient with ourselves and our lives, and we end up breaking ourselves down, becoming less productive, less happy, and less at peace with the way things are. There is, no doubt, a great deal of good that comes from looking forward, setting goals, and working hard to achieve our dreams. The disconnect, though, is when we become disillusioned by this imagined future self or this imagined future life. We disconnect completely with the present and when we are not living in the present, we are not really living at all. We must continue to work toward our goals and intentions while at the same time, letting go of our attachment to some expected outcome. We must be content with and find peace with where we are now and with each step that we take along our journey. Each step is as significant, if not more so, than any final outcome. "Allow yourself to savor the sweetness of Santosha, and you'll find yourself deeply satisfied with much of what life has to offer." ~Constance L. Habash